Choices of the Unchosen
by Emmery Dawn
Summary: Arcadia bends into the Dauntless community. She goes unnoticed, but not completely unseen. Arcadia is a born into Dauntless and her aptitude test is closing in on her. Arcadia goes somewhere she shouldn't, but she need to know, to learn, to accept. But will she find out or will they kill her before she reaches clarity?
1. Chapter 1

Feeling the needle go into my skin sends chills throughout my body. Like rain falling from the sky and washing over me. Or like someone running their fingers down my spine. The buzzing of machine keeps me from drifting too far away.

"Thought I would find you here."

I move my eyes from the floor to the doorway, all without moving my head, to see feet. Feet that have kicked me in the stomach and tripped me. Feet I have stomped on in frustration. The feet move towards me and her face meets mine. She bends down and turns her head like a curious puppy would, and searches for my eyes, and all while having a huge smile on her face. Her jet black hair nearly covers her entire face, but her eyes can be seen through all of it. Icy blue eyes that pierces through her black hair and people's soul.

"I had some extra points." I say smiling back at her. We get a certain amount of points each month, and let's just say I managed to get some extra. She stands up and walks behind me. I hear the breath escape from her.

"It's beautiful." She says and I can hear her moving around the artist to look at every detail.

"All done." The artist says handing me a mirror and step away from the chair.

I stand up and move towards the full size mirror in the corner of the room, and turn to where my back is facing it. I look through the mirror in my hand to the full size mirror. There on the back of my neck lays a dragon wrapped around and unbreakable knot. The dragon body move gracefully around the knot at every perfect angle. The dragon's body is made of sharp tribal black twists. Behind the dragon is amazing shades of purple and blue like the sky right before the sunsets. My lip begins to shake, so I bit the corners. It more than I ever imagined or been able to draw. I turn around and hand the mirror back to the artist, and thank him greatly. I walk past him into the front room. The parlor is covered in artwork from wall to wall. Anything and everything you could possible think of is expressed on these walls. Soul piercer is admiring a cherry blossom tree design. Her is face is diamond shaped and her cheek bones are very high set on her face. Her nose is small and button like and her eyes are close together, and very large. Her hair covers most of her face which is why her striking features are sometimes over looked. Her hair is black as black could be, but there are low undertones of purple and fades to purple at the ends. Her hair reached to almost the middle of her back, and is cut at sharp angles giving her innocent face and edge and fierce look. She has some of her hair tugged behind her hair which reveals her ice _ that wraps around her ear. She wears a black leather jacket with tight black pants and boots. She looks like someone who belongs here with all the black clothing, the dark eye makeup, and the style. She is what you would expect to see when you think of this place, but she's different. Something inside her doesn't belong. She sees me studying her and she grins. Her smile is pure and inviting.

"Way to ruin my surprise, Rennie." I say grabbing the hat I keep in my pocket, so my hair doesn't touch my recent marked skin.

"No, just no." Rennie says taking my hat and shoving into my hand, and moving behind me. She takes my hair and starts to braid it, and wraps it perfectly around my head. My dark champagne hair looks almost brown in the poor lighting of the tattoo parlor. My bangs fall over my left eye, but are shaped to fall just out of my sight. "You are going to show this off."

We both walk out of the tattoo parlor into chaos. People yelling, pushing, shoving, running, screaming, and pretty much everything people do that is chaotic. This area is called the pit and it's the heart of this compound and its people. The Pit itself is an enormous underground cavern with the tattoo parlor, dining hall, weapon equipment stores, fighting quarters, arena and more built into the walls. To connect these places, the Pit has narrow stairs and hallways. Many lead to dead ends to confuse intruders or its current residences. There are no railings or barriers on these hallways or stairs and drops it off at the edges, so if you step to far…see ya. Blue lanterns hang from various points along the Pit, hallways and different rooms. The poor blue lighting gives the compound a dreaded, but calming feeling. Also it's easy to go unnoticed and slip into the darkness.

"Arcadia!" I see him through all the black clothes and bright colored hair. His bright blonde hair sticks out. He moves through the people like its nothing. He jumps over fallen chairs, ducking to miss people flaring their arms and legs, and bottles being thrown. He runs into a crowd watching a fight. I search the crowd I can't see he's bright gleaming hair. Then it hits me…literally. He rams into my left side as hard as he can and knocks me almost off my feet, but I put my hand out to embrace myself. I quickly look up to see him charging at me, again. My neck aches a little, but I smirk at him. I move to right just in time for him to miss me and I stick my foot out. He knows what going to happen before I even move. He jumps over my leg, but I grab his foot before he lands. He is much bigger than I am and a lot stronger, but these throws him of balance. He falls to the floor and the air is knocked out of him. He looks up at me coughing, but with a huge grin on his face.

"You're getting better." I say grabbing his hand and helping him up.

"Ha, no you are getting better." He says smiling and brushing off his pant and shirt. His blonde hair comes down into his eyes, and I don't know how his sees. His eyes are a dark blue-green when you can see them, and show his innocent side even if he tries to hide it He has a lip ring he plays with when he is nervous. He is muscular like the other male at this compound because they have to be.

"I would say that either she is getting better or Kempton you're getting worse." Rennie says.

"Worse, definitely worse." Kempton says. "Since I got my job assignment you've killed my winning strike. "

"What winning strike?" I say. He just shakes his head and starts to say something when someone calls to him.

"Just wait, cousin." He says narrowing his eyes at me and laughing then turns towards to the group. He high fives a couple people and yell "Dauntless!" then they run down one of the hallways. Kempton is my cousin and he is a couple years older than me. He chose to stay in Dauntless with he was sixteen. I wonder if I could do the same. The Pit is starting to clear out since it's close to midnight. Some of the older members take the children and head for the apartments.

"I'm probably going to head to the training room." Rennie says look past me and grinning at something. I raise my eyebrow in curiosity and turn and see a group of people around our age standing at the edge of the Pit holding knives. Rennie has a bizarre fascination and remarkable skill with knife throwing. "Are you coming? Or…"She says looking down at and reading my face. "I promise to use my skill for fun, and possible making people pee themselves as I throw knives at them, But only on the condition that you don't get caught."

"Me? Sheath." I say giving her a smirk and she starts to run towards the group.

I look around to make sure everyone has left the Pit and I take off running. I run to the edge of the Pit and turn right. Water starts to hit my face and my shoes slid against the wet floor as I stop. I look over the iron barrier to see a gorge filled with rapidly running water and razor-sharp rocks. It's about a three story drop into the Chasm. The Chasm is holy to every in Dauntless. The Chasm symbolizes how fear and cowardice can destroy everything in its path. I take a deep breath and inhale the smell of fresh water. Chills run down my spine and arms and I can't help, but grin. I start to run again and I turn at the first hallway. I start running up the stairs. My breathing starts to become heavy, but I keep running. All I hear are the pounding of my feet and heart that's trying to break though my chest. I finally make it to the top of the stairs and am now on top of one the main building. The fresh cold air goes right through me like I am nothing, but a ghost. I look to my left and faintly see the train coming. No lights, no sound, no anything, so I know I have to right. I start running toward the railway and turn to be parallel. The train blows past causing the lose piece of hair to move in all different directions. I count the cars as the go by…one...two…three…as soon as the fourth one begins to pass me I throw my body over the railing. I land on my side and roll till I'm on my feet again.

"Welcome Arcadia." And chills fall down my spine then throughout my entire body.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

He stands in the shadows, but his silhouette is clear in the moon. He leads against the train car on the small railing on the outside of the car. I didn't even see him when I was running. He looks like a shadow within the night, and is a pretty good one. His tall and lean against the train, but he is toned from training and experiences. His profile is clear from his nordic nose to his strong jawline. I can't see his eyes, but I would know them anywhere. Imagine a glacier floats on the deep dark blue ocean. That is them. His hair from what I can tell it looks like it has been recently cut. I stand up and start to move back towards the train door.

"Yes, welcome." Her voice is cold and cuts through the train car, the night, and threw me. I stop completely and turn to see the owner of this voice that I can't be revolted by. A middle aged woman moves from behind a large old crate in the back of the train car. The train car is covered in old boxes, papers, bottles, and everything that screams forgotten. She gracefully moves over everything without stepping on anything in the faint moon light. She has done this before. How many times has she done this? I can barely make out her face, but I would know it anywhere. She has never talked to me directly until now, but I have seen her many times before. The stern angles of her face are clear and cruel. She has a hooked nose and her eyes look like a black moon on a white sky. She has curly black hair that barley reaches her shoulders. When she looks down at me I can feel my lips tremble. Not because I'm frightened of her and or by her size compared to my small stature, but something is off. Something about her presences is wrong. Ever since I saw her the first time I knew she was an actor in this grand play. But, this is wrong, something is terribly wrong. "We have _all_ been waiting."

I hear feet move behind her and my body tenses ready to jump out the moving train. No matter if it is safe or not. I nearly dropped to my knees when I see the small child. A little boy peeks around a broken mirror in the back corner. He's hair shines in the pale moon light. My body weakens even more. When he sees me a little white grin appears in the darkness. I look past him to see a figure holding his hand. My knees hit the floor. My weakness floods throw my veins, and now I have thrown away years of training to prepare myself for moments like this.

"We found them outside the fence when we were scouting." The silhouette figure that stood outside the train car now stands behind me.

I shudder not because of his presence, but because of the tears that run down my cheeks. I shut my eyes and tell myself to be strong to realize it is all better now. But, I have held it inside and now it is breaking down the wall. I have held the loss, pain, and longing. But, this is not how this was not suppose to happen. I was suppose to find them not her. A stream of jealousy runs through, but it quickly fades. I cover my face with my hands and my body begins to shake. I am being weak. I am helpless. My fears are being exposed to the world. I'm not strong like people see me to be. I am utterly pathetic and brittle. I hear little feet running and stepping on paper and glass. Hands wrap around my face and my slow dripping tears turn into streams. I wrap my arms around the boy I would do anything for even if that means the end of me. I have missed him. I have missed his little face and the enormous joy he brings into my ever changing life. I missed playing hide and seek. I miss teaching him. I miss him looking up at me.

"He missed you."

I look up to see the figure that was holding his hand when I first saw him.

Her hair reaches her waist now and looks slightly tangled. It has faded back more to its natural blonde color. She looks skinner than I remember. My chest aches. Her face look older and tired. She has dark circles under her eyes. Her clothes are ripped in a couple spots and her pants have stains on them. One of them is a dark color covering her leg… My chest feels like someone is stepping on me till I am no longer in existence. She bends down and wraps her arms around me and the small blonde headed boy. I being to sob and it sounds like I'm dying. Why is it when I need to be the strongest I'm the weakest? Why have I let my fear control me? No. I will not let everything I lived for be thrown away like trash in trashcan. Control your fear. 

"_We believe in facing fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity."  
_

I start taking deep breaths and my shaking becomes minimal. They are alive. Quite being stupid and look at the bigger picture. What does she want from me?

"Arcadia, you need to stay in Dauntless."

I feel my brain stop. Everything around me freezes in time. Everyone stop in the moment. Everything frozen before is explodes into pieces. I hear a shocked scuff behind me and reality presses play.

I search into the eyes of the little boy who is now gripping my shirt not wanting to let again. He slowly looks up at me and grins. His blonde hair is long, dirty, and curls at the ends. His blue-greened eyes are swollen. His button nose is crimson against his pale skin. His cheeks have tear stains. His clothing also has rips and tears. His shoes are covered in dirt and look wet. I can't let them live this way. I look up to the woman you has loved me since I was born. She smiles one of those smiles that makes your heart tear apart and want to commit suicide. She doesn't want to live this way, but does want to control my fate. I could have stopped this from happening. I could have kept them safe. I could have done something to help them. But, I didn't. I was arrogant and missed all the signs. I look at the little boy and squeeze

"I love you." I whisper to him and then release him.

He slowly moves to our mother, and looks up at her. She smiles while picking him up and starts whispering something to him. I stand up and stare at the woman who brought me the one thing no one else could do, even myself. I can barely see her face, but I can see the corner of her lips and forehead twitching. She's getting impatience. But, I know there is something else. I can see it written all over her, but I don't understand it. Why does she need me to stay in Dauntless? Does she know something I don't? Does he know something about me? Did he figure out something about me I haven't? If so did he tell her? Why did I trust him? Could I ever trust him? Am I jumping to conclusion? Does she know more about me then I don't know about myself? What does she see? I need to know.

"Let's make a deal." My body tenses at my voice. I hear feet behind move slightly, and he is tense too. My mind starts to jump and my control on myself begins slipping. Did he know what her motives were? Does he know what her real plans are? My mind can't focus. Again my mind starts control me. Why me? Why does she want to control me? Why should I be the one that has to change their entire life for someone else? For someone else who is only going to use me? What is wrong with me? Why me? Why am I so special? Why…

Then I hear it. The faint tears of someone who shouldn't have experience what they have. Someone who's life shouldn't have been taken away. Someone who hasn't even had the chance to choose what they want to do with their life. This is no longer about me.

"Evelyn, keep them protect. So, they have food, clothes, showers, beds, and he still has the ability to learn and cherish his childhood and I will stay in Dauntless"

Her lip twitches, and switches positions. She knows I will agree to her terms, but I can tell she expected protest. She doesn't know me I well as I thought. Then she smiles, and I think differently.

"Well of course. Dauntless will be happy to keep you."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

My mother, little brother, and Evelyn all jumped off when the train passed through a part of the Factionless sector of the city closest to Evelyn's base, but he and I stayed. I wish I could have kept them with me forever, no more pain, no more sorrow, but I can't. They will never be safe in the factions anymore. But, is factionless any better? I glaze behind me, but just enough to see his shadow. He is pacing. He seems different, and some of the factionless I have met even seem compassionate , but Evelyn doesn't. Something is still wrong. I need to figure it out. I feel it taunting me, but was is it? Dauntless compound is on the other side of the city by now, so this is going to be a strange train ride... I first need to figure out if I can actually trust him and if he picked me apart like a science experiment or if my thoughts about him were wrong, but I rarely wrong about people. Second, is he working with Evelyn? Are they both using me for their own personal gain because they seem to know more about me then I do or probably ever will... But, I have to know, I have the right to know. But, I'm not to sure where to start. Or why he even stayed? Have I let myself be controlled? Have I wasted my time trying to understand? No, that couldn't have happened, but it did. So many questions, but no answers. Wait, why did he stay?

The wind blows throughout the train car and pieces of paper and trash fly all around. The train car is almost completely dark expect for the small moon light that still shines through. I'm standing just outside now the train car on the small railing. I look up to the dark evaded sky. Clouds cover the entire sky for miles. I look all around. There has to be at least one visible. Straight ahead of me a star peek out from behind a cloud. The star reminds me of the little blonde boy I saw for the first time since I lost a piece of me. I wanted to be closer to the star before it left again. But, this time it wasn't a longing feeling that has filled me for so long, no, it was determination. Stars are hard to find when looking up from the city, but there is always at least one that shine through the cloud or smug. The stars are like the answers I'm looking for. Millions of light-years away in an endless sky and I only see one at a time. I heard his feet shovel behind me. He's pacing has increased. The cold of the night as finally gotten to me and my muscle begin to shake.

"It wasn't suppose to happen this way." His breath hits me ear and sends chills down my spine.

Is he lying? I can feel him only inches away from me. I can feel him breathing on my neck. I can feel him thinking of ways to prove himself to me. I can feel the presences of his eyes. I can feel his warmth. I can feel his heart pounding. I can feel his tension. I can feel his hands unclenching from fists.

"Some of her men spotted them and report them to Evelyn. She found out they were connect to you and that we've...been seeing each other." He stumbles over the last couple words. He sounds nervous and unsure."So, she told me to tell you to met me on the train. I thought she was just going to help show you they were alive and safe because of what you've done for us. I didn't know she was going to hold your family against you." He voice grows softer with each word. "She said that I had to keep tabs on you, but not to become to attached." I feel his body tense again.

He moves from behind me then moves to my right. He is couple feet away from me looking to the endless darkness of all we've ever known. He's mind is racing. I can see it on his face. He's face holds confusion and slight betrayal. He didn't know. He didn't know what Evelyn's motives were. He was trying to get me closer to my family. He wanted to help me. But, he doesn't understand. His life is being controlled now. I look in the direction where he holds his graze. How many questions does he have? Is he looking for the answers, too? Is there someone searching like me? Wanting to live without be told how to? To have their live in their own hands? I sigh while closing my eyes. When I open them my eyes advert to something glowing in the distance. Erudite headquarters are completely lit; it practically glows against the night sky. Like they have created their own sun rise. Something about Erudite is puzzling to me. Why must they always be searching for knowledge? Why must I keep doing the same thing? It is like an actually puzzle and I'm trying to completely it without all the pieces. But, I didn't lose the pieces someone took them. I wanted my brain to stop asking questions. I want my brain to stop trying to figure out the endless answers of my world. I want to forget. I want to feel. I want to be let go. Without realizing it my arms are both reaching out. The wind blows my clothes and loose pieces of hair. I exhale and close my eyes again. I imagine myself floating over the city. I look down. Abnegation acting selfless. Candor valuing their honesty. Erudite striving for knowledge. Amity being peaceful. Dauntless dedicating all their lives for fearlessness. Is that really it? Is my world truly so small? Is my world just that simple? No, it isn't. People aren't treat as human beings. Families are being ripped apart. People are being killed for reasons that are untold. People's lives are no longer their's. Everyone is being controlled by someone else or something else. People are blindsided, and looking over the main issues. This world is wrong. Everything about is wrong. All of faction are wrong in some way. This world is not mine. By the time I snap back to reality, I am leaning over the guard. The top half of my body begins to push itself farther of the ledge. My foot slips and hands catch my waist. I feel my face become warm. I feel the blood begin to pump faster. I feel like my stomach still thinks it floating. I feel giddy. I feel like my brain has turned me into someone from Amity. I feel careless. I feel like I forgot how to breathe. I feel weak. I feel foolish. I feel stupid. How can I be so unfocused? How can I let myself be this way? Can I actually stay in Dauntless? I break down at the sight of my family. I let someone hold that very weakness over my head. I let myself be discovered. I let my training go to waste. I let my life slip into someone else's hands. Plus, I turn into stone just by a simple touch. But, it isn't just a simple touch. It is a touch that I wanted to feel, but was afraid to feel. It is a touch that trys to protect me for myself. It is a touch from someone who I break rules to come see. It is touch that I have never felt before while I watch others gives. It is a touch from someone who found me when I was near the end.

_I run. I run out of the compound. I run passed the train. I run through the empty buildings. I need to run faster. Why is my body not letting me go faster? I need to go faster. I don't even know where I'm going. I need to wash myself of them. They ruined me. They took everything away from me. They ripped all of it out of my hands. My mother... and my brother. The tears burn my cheeks. I wipe them . I am weak. Why do they keep shoving that in my face? Why do I let them do it? I should have done something. I could of help them. But, I didn't. I start to scream. I scream until I can hardly stand. I start pulling at my hair. I can't take it. I don't want to be alone! I don't want to let my mind take over! I want someone to love me and tell me its all okay! I need it. I need someone to push me. I just want to explode. I start to run down a street. Empty building. Lifeless. Like me. My breathing begins to become heavy. You are so weak and stupid. Just accept it. You will always be this way. The street turns into a bend that goes to the right. I turn full speed and close my eyes. I exhale. When I open my eyes again a small girl is sitting in the middle of the road only a foot away from me. She has bright red hair and is playing with something that look like a doll, but made of sticks. I make a hard turn to miss the girl. I miss the her, but fumble over my own feet. I fall on my right side and skid to a stop. I hear the girl gasp. Way to foolish again, Arcadia. My head throbs and there is a sharp pain in my arm. I blink fiercely to get rid of the tears. Stop crying! So being weak! I feel my legs shaking. I try to move my arm, but a burning sensation runs through it. The little girl takes off running behind a building. Why must I keep letting my emotions get the best of me? I scream through my teeth. I taste blood. I'm falling apart. You are ignorant. My vision fades in and out. I hear feet. I try moving my arm, but the pain says no. I feel blood dripping down my cheek. I feel dizzy. My head feel heavy. I hear feet running towards me. I try to blink away tears and the blackness in my eyes. I feel tired. My mind begins to slow. I feel like I'm floating. I hear what sounds like heavy breathing. Pounding. I see a face. Eyes bright, but worried. I can't fight my slumber and my eyes shut, and my mind is free..._

I feel my body relax. He helps me down, but is quick to remove his hands. He running one throw his hair and the other one straight into his pocket. He looks like he did something he wasn't suppose to, but doesn't regret. Like a child, but he is far from an innocent and free. I look up at him. He is taller than I am. I feel a smile from upon my face, but it disappears. I look past him and see my life being giving to someone else to have like child's toy. He looks behind and see the place in which he left, but I must stay. He looks back down towards like he is looking at every detail of me and analyzing it. He lends towards me, but stops himself. I feel the thoughts swarming my brain telling me no. But, I need it. I need the comfort. I need the feeling. I need the reassurance. My body moves and a tear falls. His arms wrap around my shoulders. I bury my face into his jacket. I look up at him and he look down at me. I can see it in his eyes. I see the longing and worry. I have known pain. He doesn't deserve the sacrifices. I lend towards him like I done this a million times. Like I know what I'm doing. But, I don't. I feel my body relax. I feel the tenderness of his lips. My life may be no longer in my hands, but that doesn't mean I can't change that.


End file.
